Hello to you all, life is happening to us all I guess, anyways today my focus is on us ladies!!!
I have been following up on some stories on ABUSE especially on social media; almost everyday there’s a story on women and children being abused physically, sexually and a lot of gaslighting and I have been thinking of how we as women sometimes place ourselves in vulnerable positions that lead to such abuses.
In my quest to find answers I have observed a trend where most of these vulnerable women tend to find themselves in such situations because they are usually economically not contributing or simply put BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE.
I recall when I had my first child; Papa, my mum used to say often in fanti; enya sika fabi sie na awoba! ( learn to save money, you are a mother now) and she was absolutely right. Growing up with my mum as a single parent I saw how hard and diligent she worked to cater for me and my brother. This woman saved a lot, she will literally sit on the floor to count her monies, even coins were arranged such that if we mistakenly took one she would find out and the beatings will follow suit.
My mum could be counting money in your presence and would still tell you that was not hers; she would say..d3m sika yi dze Auntie Aggie dzeamonam etam wo nkran ( This money belongs to Auntie Aggie and she wants me to purchase cloth from Accra for her. Those were the days when my mum was a trader at Axim, she would go on monday dawn and return on friday.
Now I am grown and raising my three kids and of course I understand how my school fees and all the other needs were paid! She saved every cedi and sacrificed a lot just so that Kwesi and myself would be who we are today.
Times are really ‘hard’, the days of staying home and raising kids whilst men earned are long gone, and so young lady; please get up and find something to do! Even in cases where the woman does not necessarily need to work still requires that one to find a means of staying busy, even if it’s a hobby.
In most cases the financial burden practically cannot be the sole responsibility of the man, its just impossible! (I can literally hear someone saying the chores must be shared too; I agree -subject for another time).
Some men can be unreasonable so much to abuse you, afterall you bring ‘nothing’ to the table, they overlook the woman’s contribution of raising the kids and caring for the home.
Auntie Akyere (mum) would often say, edzumadzen nkum nyimpa, meaning hardwork does not kill and there’s no shame in working hard to earn an income. I have hawked condense milk tofees, soaps and detergents at Sekondi Seaside. I have also sold shoes, bags, clothes and earrings and chains from Togo after completing university; infact anything legally sellable I dont mind. I enjoy counting money.
There’s an inside joke in my house; whenever I complain of being ‘broke’, my hubby would say; you mean you dont have spending money or you are broke broke?? this is because man knows that by all means woman has some savings or investments somewhere, and usually I say that just to ‘extort’ him for spending money
Simply put, ewuraba sor ko p3 edwumabi y3, that is the sure way you can walk into that boutique and buy that shoe you have been eyeing for 3 years!! or go to that ‘bouggie’ restaurant to eat that grouper fish….
That said, I recommend you read these two books from Arese Ugwu; The Smart Money Woman and The Smart Money Tribe and also do not forget to check out my page; thepearlsgh on Instagram for all your chic earrings and accessories!!
Medaase!! yours truly;
Nana Esi Akonuwah